Recent Issue Regarding Dylan (WedgeAntilles)

[Aphrodite]

I ask you to please drop whatever hatred or bias you have against me, just for a second and read this with open eyes. It's a bit much, only because I added some transparency about how we do things, something that users have requested before. You only have to read it if you wish to know exactly what led up to Dylan's removal.

The staff team has tried very hard to maintain a good relationship with the users of LewdChat because we understand that respect is earned and shouldn’t be expected just because we have that @ or &. This is the one thing I kept at the forefront of my mind the very moment I was given the role as moderator because I have also been a victim of mod abuse in the past. I’d like to believe that I'm a kind hearted and respectful person. I try my best not to tread on any toes. I’ve only ever tried to be friendly. That being said, I’m still human. You can’t forget that although we are online, there is an actual person behind every name, as someone very dear to me has said. Which is why being a moderator requires a certain amount of empathy and needs to remain level headed. As a mediator, you need to present an image that the community can look up to and rely on. And if the one thing I’ve noticed is that when you view one of us, you view us all. This “united front” thing, I’ve fought for it behind the curtains. I have thrown myself under the bus to save fellow staff members again and again and I’ve done so without thinking much of it because we should basically be like family. But it still pains my chest when I see comments about how the mods are mean, strict, unjust and everything else. How is it fair to receive that judgment when you try your hardest to keep from being grouped under it?

Yes, Dylan has done a very good job with handling catfishes but there is more to being a moderator than just that. And that’s not to say that the rest of us don’t either. We don’t expect recognition or praise when we deal with matters privately for the sake of keeping the community peaceful. Just because you don’t see us work, doesn’t mean we aren’t doing it. Dylan has shown hostile behavior towards users and staff members. No matter what, “I’m just a jackass, you know that” or “you just don’t understand his humor” should not be an excuse to let it happen. If someone is obviously not okay with your personality, you shouldn’t expect them to be okay with it when you force them to be subjected to it. It’s not okay! Regardless, I was aware of the kind of person he is and it took a very long time to accept it. The people who weren’t aware of it though, are the very same users he volunteered to look after. It doesn’t look good for me to answer “that’s just how he is” whenever someone asks why he’s a mod with the way he acts. So if he’s out there calling them names and saying extremely hurtful things because he lacks a filter, that behavior reflects the entire mod team. I tried to help him when things were getting out of hand. But no matter what, Dylan wanted to be right and would not listen. We all have to adhere to these guidelines, not just him. There is a way certain things are done, protocols in place and Dylan never followed them. Mistakes are made and it’s okay to admit “I could’ve done that better” as long as you see what went wrong and learn from it. Dylan is never ready for a conversation and constructive criticism and it's impossible to work with someone like this. He does not care. He is not paid for this job so he simply couldn’t give a fuck about how things are done. We were not forcing him to be a moderator. He wants that. But doesn’t want to do it right. What people don’t see was me taking the fall for it. I’ve had multiple users come to me about his behavior as a moderator. I’ve been the one who would go and apologize to them after one of his outbursts. Which is why I tried so hard to get him to understand why he needs to stop being so… volatile. Because I don’t want to have to babysit him the entire time. We barely have enough active mods, something we’re working on. I feel like I spend 90% of my time moderating on LC when I’m a psychology major, I have a life to take care of. But instead, I found myself cleaning up after him time and time again.

That’s what happened yesterday. There is a protocol when banning people. They should receive a warning, a kick, a mute and then a ban. Because our job here isn’t to just punish, we give chances and it doesn’t matter with who. Dylan banned a user without much explanation and said user came to me afterward. At first, I thought they were upset because Dylan randomly kicked them like he always does so I said “lol he’s random, I’ll ask what happened” which apparently Dylan took as me shit talking. Anyway, I talked to the user and made them see why they might’ve been banned, and they apologized after understanding. That could’ve been done without kicking, muting or banning them. Dylan came into that main channel and told them that they received multiple complaints and reports about them. This is something that moderators cannot do. Reports are made privately and anonymously for a reason. If you are to tell a user a report was made about them, you need to be prepared to tell them what it was and that’s why we have a private channel to discuss it. Obviously, the user asked me about what reports Dylan was talking about because they wanted to make things right with the people they upset. Honestly, I was confused too because there were no reports… so I told Dylan to go talk to the user about their complaints. I’ll include his reply here. He didn’t want to and I couldn’t do it for him because I had no idea what he was talking about and he refused to explain or show me the reports. He said the user had already been causing problems and that’s why he went straight for a ban. I asked him to please show me, he had nothing. The user sent me screenshots of the chat prior to their ban and they had done nothing. If anything, they were actually enforcing rules by telling another person they can’t ask for nudes. Dylan said he warned and muted before banning. This is a lie. And the complaints and reports were a lie too. He began to berate me for believing the user over him as if just because he’s a fellow mod, I need to take his word for it despite being wrong. He said quite a few things that truly upset me so I decided to step away from the staff channel. He then began to harass me for around half an hour. Pinging me over, and over… I can’t /ignore people–to moderate properly, I need to see all messages but I’ve been incredibly tempted to /ignore him more times than you can count on both hands. I don’t care if you don’t want to accept it for what it is. It’s harassment. And he even went as far as to post his dick and say “Aphrodite, this is how hard you make me.” Fud told him to be professional, do the job right or don’t do it at all. Dylan told him to pay him. So he was removed. All of this is a consequence of his own actions. He brought it onto himself.

Yes, a person should be able to defend themselves but in the name of practicing what we preach, and like I said–keeping a level head, you can’t act that way. Which is why despite the constant harassing he did yesterday and the countless people attacking me for his sake, I have tried so hard to stay patient.. Those who were around for those couple hours can tell you just how bad he was. Had it been anyone, literally anyone at all, he would’ve been banned from the site after the first 10 minutes. We're being considerate to have only removed him from staff, it’s a known rule disrespecting staff ends up with a ban. But because it’s Dylan and y’all love him so much, we sat there and let people attack us for as long as they did. Until we had to ban him just so he could cool off. But no, even after prematurely removing that ban, he continued to be passive aggressive with Lana and I, along with the rest of the people on his side. They defended him without looking at both pictures. So this is what happened. With screenshots and everything. The full story. I have not made a single thing up or left anything out. I would never stoop so low as to lie or insult others just to clear my name. If you still want to attack me because of him, be my guest but do so with all the information.

I truly apologize for any unrest that we may have caused and hopefully, it all settles down soon.

Thank you very much…

Screenshots:

What happened on 2/27/23: https://imgur.com/a/56DLx1t
Some extra stuff: https://imgur.com/a/P4aSPOD

[Dylan]

@Aphrodite i actually do not understand the relevance of me defending INNA from a guy talking shit to what the actual issue at hand is, but oki Ty